Working on limitations

If a relationship cannot give that secure feeling that my next step would not be on a landmine.. its a fake relationship. There is no honesty in it.. no truth.. Its like we are cheating ourselves in the name of that "relationship" . The most successful relationships are those where each one works around the limitations of the other. Not the ASSUMED limitations.. I'm talking about the REAL limitations. This might look a little negative .. but this is a more realistic approach. We strengthen ourselves by what each other know. But what creates the first crack is an expectation surpassing the limitation of the other. Expectations get built around one's ability.. in any relationship. Limitation is the max efficiency one can perform that 'action' that he is able to do. When I say I cook well, you cannot assume me to be your personal "Nigella" . I cannot be your personal ' aishwarya rai' or ' sharukh' or even your personal 'man / woman next door' , who always appears better than me. In a husband-wife relationship, there is an acceptance of the limitations of each other , appreciation & strengthening of the specialities of each other , work within this premise - all happening in a warp of love. Do you feel this is idealistic? It just implies that you are not really HAPPY. Just introspect....

Working on Strengths

The next step to understanding the limitations - "WORKING ON STRENGTHS. I believe that the most successful businesses are the ones where every resource is utilised to its best potential- note that i've used 'its' instead of 'the' and I hope you got the difference. Same with the most successful families. And thats probably why joint families worked wonders because there was a collective availability and deployment of resources.. A wonderful division of labour was possible.
Everyone has strengths & weaknesses. And its all about balancing these. Can we call it the ' fish ,cat & the bird principle of co-existence ' . In a family, first step is to understand the strength of each including the kids.. We know that fish swims , birds fly & cats run. In their own environment , viz, water, air & land - they achieve the best. Interchange their jobs - they will fail miserably.. And , interchange their environment ..fish on land, cats in air & birds in water... they die. Same way, in a relationship, if we understand that my wife / husband ( well, you can add all the members of the family here) excels in "this action" in this environment ' and use their strength for the common cause of overall family welfare, we would only keep moving ahead - financially as well as socially.. Ideally, the family will be a bunch of "experts" with a single goal. We would not be forcing our child to do engineering when he wants to become an archeologist, we will not make our wife a four wall show-piece when she aspires to be a fashion designer, we will not force our husband to become like the next door CEO when he wants to become a Life Coach.. And the worst is to realise 20 years later that we have wasted or lost an asset out of our own ego , arrogance or neglect . Your kid or wife or husband whom you didnt understand would have pardoned you.. But your conscience would never.. Because, it never sleeps.Rudramaya.